Dancing with the Fear

Fear is an integral part of our human experience; the more we avoid it, the more it compels us to change. Allow me to share a personal experience of fear as a transformative force and what I’ve learned through enduring its flames and emerging on the other side.

“For the past few weeks, I’ve felt fear. It was a constant sensation of discomfort, a feeling that something was about to go wrong. It was present at every step; in everything I did, there was an underlying heaviness in my chest, at my solar plexus, and in my belly. Even in moments of joy, it was there, preventing me from fully enjoying them. At these moments of joy, the negative notion immediately overshadowed them, keeping the joy from blossoming. I wondered, ‘What is the reason for this? Where does feeling come from?’ I could come up with plenty of reasons why fear would arise. As a human in the current culture, I’ve developed the great ability to find reasons to be fearful and worried. It could have been due to a lack of stability in my financial situation, a lack of love and partnership, or concerns about community, friends, health, loneliness, or self-esteem. Whatever it may be, the fear didn’t have a name, and the more I tried to find its reason, the more confused and fearful I became.

At some point, I gave up and out of nothing, a new approach emerged organically, something I had never really tried before: allowing the fear to be there, letting it express itself in whatever way it wanted and for however long it wanted. I realized I was in a phase of fear, and my task was to simply let it be, accept it, even embrace it, and let it pass. I even took the responsibility to communicate it to my friends and family. It actually felt liberating to express it, as if I were giving it space both inside and outwardly. Every time I expressed it, it felt like it was okay to feel it, and those around me accepted it as well. Some even shared that they resonated with me, which led to the creation of stronger bonds based on sincerity and honesty. It took a few weeks, but the shift happened very clearly in one day; the fear was gone, and I felt uplifted. I became genuinely positive about my life and the underlying layer of fear, which had felt so heavy, transformed into a layer of trust, a sense that everything would be okay, a sort of inner strength. Since then, I’ve enjoyed my days more fully, not because of any specific reason, but due to a sense of calmness and appreciation. I recognize the beauty around me, breathe more deeply, and feel truly grateful for everything I have and everything I am.”

Since that transformative day, I feel stronger, more prepared for fear when it comes again, and it was a profound learning experience for me.

Here’s what I’ve learned:

• I learned to notice the physical sensation of fear, how it feels in the body and where, making it easier for me to recognize next time.

• I learned that fear is temporary and that if I let it pass through my system without interference or suppression, it will eventually go away, leaving space for other feelings to arise.

• I learned that people around me will not judge me if I share vulnerability; on the contrary, it will form stronger relationships based on openness and may even help others to open up to me.

• I realized that as a human being, I operate on emotional, mental, and energetic levels even more profoundly than on the physical level, and there is a whole world to be explored beyond what my eyes can perceive. By ‘exploring,’ I mean listening, being aware, and giving space to those inner realms.

• I realized that hardships are here to teach me something about myself, to give me direction on where I should explore more of myself, how I behave, how I relate to things around me and within me, and to examine my belief system as something to be constantly and consciously adapted and changed.

Living in balance with fear requires a shift in perspective, recognizing it as an integral aspect of our human experience rather than something to be suppressed or avoided. Spiritual teachings often emphasize the transformative power of fear when approached with mindfulness and presence. Eckhart Tolle, a spiritual teacher, emphasises the idea that our thoughts about a situation, rather than the situation itself, often lead to unhappiness. This notion suggests that fear arise from our interpretations and perceptions, prompting us to examine the beliefs underlying our fears. Thich Nhat Hanh, a Buddhist monk, advocates for mindfulness as a means to confront fear with compassion and understanding as a means to transforming it.

Here are some practical exercises to embody this approach:

1. Recognizing fear
Sit alone in silence and focus on your breath , setting aside any distraction and observing any fear that arises without judgment or attachment. Allow yourself to fully experience the sensations and emotions associated with fear, recognizing them as temporary phenomena passing through your awareness. Describing it can be helpful: Where do I feel it? How does it feel physically? What qualities does it possess?

2. Grounding Techniques
When fear grips you, bring your attention to the present moment by grounding yourself in your immediate surroundings. Notice the sensations of your body touching the ground, the sights and sounds around you, and the rhythm of your breath. This can help anchor you in reality and alleviate the grip of fear by recognizing it as part of a variety of experiences that are happening at this moment.

3. Journaling
Explore your fears through writing, allowing yourself to express thoughts and emotions freely. With honesty, reflect on the underlying beliefs or assumptions contributing to your fear and consider alternative perspectives. This practice can foster self-awareness and facilitate the process of releasing fear’s hold on you.

By integrating these practices into our life, whenever fear arises, we can cultivate a deeper sense of resilience and inner peace, transforming fear from something negative into a catalyst for personal growth and acceptance.

“To find the flame, one needs to look in the ashes.”

Fear is merely a word; it can also be referred to as anxiety, worry, concern, nervousness, unease, or panic. Whichever term resonates with you, they all convey the same essence. We are here to make friends with fear, as it is a part of us.
I invite you to address it with love, give it a place at your table, without avoidance. It’s here to teach you and help you grow, learn from it and let it guide you.